haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
