my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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