You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My pussy is not your playground.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
