My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize
