3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
