"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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