dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
