Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
