..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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