I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Found the puke drawer
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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