I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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