Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
