So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
