I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
