I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
