Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No...this little piggys going to the bar
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
