we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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