True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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