We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
