so that wasnt chicken after all
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
