JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
