I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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