singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
