No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she looked like the before picture.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
