Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and she was petting her beer can
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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