Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
