If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
