Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
