i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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