Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
