Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
