IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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