He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
