Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
