Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
