I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You ate ashes out of my bong
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
