yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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