I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
