and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well I just put wine in my tea
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
