you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
