Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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