So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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