break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
