a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
