apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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