How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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