Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
