I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My vagina is officially offended.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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