yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you traded sex for a burrito?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
