I love black thongs
...so i touched it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
