Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
