i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
