am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
